Venusian Valentine's
by The Real JL Rules
Summary: A Valentine's spent on the planet Venus, circa 200,000,000 AD... LIMITED swearing.
1. Chapter 1

_DISCLAIMERS/NOTES_

 _1\. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by the BBC. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun._

 _2\. This is a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this_ _._

 _3\. OK, so there's a very important canon conceit here, aside from the obvious romantic coupling. Namely, Amy never left. She was around for Clara's arrival, all through the Eleventh Doctor's tenure, and his regeneration into the Twelfth. Got that? Cool.  
_

 _4\. What's that... ? Rory? River? Danny? Well, you see... hey, what's that over there? (*RUNS AWAY*)_

* * *

PART 1

"What have I told you about hanky-panky in the control room?!"

The two young women broke their ferocious kiss and turned their heads at the wild-eyed man who just entered.

"And on the control _panel_ , no less!" the Doctor shrieked.

Amy Pond rolled her eyes and huffed. "We're nowhere near it, you old coot," she drawled from her spot against a railing a few feet from said panel. Of far closer proximity was the person she was just seconds ago trading saliva with, who, in contrast to Amy, looked rather embarassed.

"Doctor, please," whined Clara Oswald as she brushed a stray hair away from her face. "Don't you ever knock?"

The Time Lord looked at them incredulously. "Why in Galifrey's name would I have to knock in my _own_ TARDIS, Ms. Oswald? Let alone the main control room. You know, the most important room of all? The room where even the tiniest knock of a lever could send us careening into a black hole?" He threw his arms up. "But of course, that doesn't matter, does it? No, no - you two just carry on being blinded by pheromones and I'll come along and save us when we're about to crashland on a lava-encrusted newborn Earth. You could count that as my wedding present."

"Doctor, _stop_!" Clara ordered, a hint of the schoolteacher coming out. She glanced at her fiancee: Amy could not keep the look of want from her eyes. The Scot always loved when Clara got all authoritative. "We get it, OK? We'll go to our room."

The Doctor just grumbled incoherently as he approached the control panel. "It's alright, old girl, they're going now," he soothed at the inanimate object. "They won't dribble over you anymore."

"We weren't dribbling, thank you very much," snorted Amy. She took Clara's hand and held it softly. "There's only one girl I dribble over." The teacher blushed so much her head threatened to explode.

"Oh, thank you for that image," sighed the Doctor. "Could you perhaps save that for your Valentine's night? I'm already traumatised by your shenanigans to last several lifetimes. At least now you'll be out of my hair for a couple of nights."

Amy quirked an eyebrow. "You're still taking us, then? Even after we molested your ship?"

"You could never molest the TARDIS," chuckled the Doctor. "She'd zap you before you got close."

The former kissogram folded her arms. "Then why didn't she zap us when we were 'on the control panel'?"

"I never said you were," said the Time Lord quickly, an innocent expression on his face.

Amy's face twisted. "You _just_ walked in here and said... !"

"Nah, must've been another me," shrugged the Doctor, as he returned his attention to the TARDIS. "Your betrothed is making stuff up again, Clara. As if I'd ever say such a thing."

Clara watched the entire exchange pinching the bridge of her nose. "Can't you both just give it a rest? Dammit, I thought my pupils could be nightmares, but you two are just like children together." She let out a frustrated sigh. "I have two Scots in my life, and they're both crazy."

Amy frowned. " _Three_ \- don't forget Mi... "

" _Look_ , it doesn't matter," Clara interrupted. "Amy, let's just leave the Doctor alone. Besides, he's right - if the TARDIS is to get us to our destination, we can do our part in not being in the way. C'mon." She took her fiancee's hand and led her up one of the staircases to the upper level of the control room.

"Yes, don't worry, Clara," called the Doctor to their retreating forms. "We'll get you two lovebirds to your romantic getaway, and no amount of tongue-swapping distractions will stop us!"

Just as Clara and Amy were about to leave through one of the adjoining corridors, Amy stopped and turned back. Clara watched as Amy looked back down at their strange friend. "Hey... Doctor? Sorry if I was a wee bit harsh."

The Doctor's response was immediate. He simply looked up at her and grinned. "Wouldn't have you any other way, Pond."

Amy turned back and Clara saw her beaming wide. In many ways, the Doctor was not the same man they both met - at separate times - and knew. Yet in more ways, the _important_ ways, he was the exact same lovable goof they spent numerous escapades with. And his use of Amy's surname was a reminder of such: proof her "Raggedy Man" was still in there.

With a satisfied nod, Amy retook her fiancee's hand and together they walked down the corridor. Hopefully the TARDIS would make their trip to their room short this time. It seemed the time machine did not particularly like them having "hanky-panky" either, and often rearranged her internal geography to delay the engaged couple reaching their destination. Then again, Clara pondered, perhaps the old girl was actually _aiding_ them. Indeed, in the times journeying to their bedroom was overly long, by the time they reached it both Amy and Clara were so desperate, they were all over eachother in seconds. Moreso than usual.

Clara let out a chuckle at the idea. Imagine the TARDIS actually _helping_ them get their rocks off! The Doctor would regenerate at the thought of his beloved ship having a kinky side!

"What're you laughing at?" came an amused question. The schoolteacher giggled and voiced her conjecture. Amy guffawed loudly. "So you think the TARDIS likes to watch?! That's hilarious!"

Clara blushed again. "Quiet, Amy! Don't let the Doctor hear you say that. He won't take us to New Venus."

"He wouldn't dare _not_ ," said Amy through narrow eyes. "He owes us after we saved his arse from that slime monster."

Rolling her eyes, Clara quickened her steps. "Let's just finish up with our packing, OK? I know for a fact that you've barely started."

"I have a better idea," came Amy's response. Before Clara knew what was happening, the Scot stopped dead in her tracks and, in one fluid motion, pulled the teacher backwards, spun them both around and pinned Clara to the wall of the corridor. A sharp breath escaped Clara's chest at the impact, and she blinked to catch her bearings, only to see Amy leaning close... _very_ close. Clara questioned her wordlessly.

Amy smirked at her trapped fiancee. "I think we should give the TARDIS a real show." With that, she dove forward and kissed Clara passionately. Completely overwhelmed, the Impossible Girl moaned into the kiss, even as she felt Amy unbutton her skirt...

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2

_DISCLAIMERS/NOTES_

 _1\. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by the BBC. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun._

 _2\. This is a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this_ _._

* * *

PART 2

Clara closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "God, it's beautiful." She took a big lungful of the country air. "It's just like the Doctor said."

Amy smiled, her eyes focused entirely on the stunning brunette by her side. Yes, the landscape of New Venus, circa 200,000,000 AD, was certainly wonderous. But it paled in comparison to her fiancee.

The TARDIS set down on a remote part of the planet a few hours ago. The Doctor promised to return for them in two days - though he grumbled he might just leave them there forever. However, judging by the scenery, the engaged couple wondered if that was not such a bad thing.

Amy and Clara were here for a specific reason, though. It was Valentine's... or at least, coming upto it when the blue police box materialised in their living room. At first neither woman seemed keen on the idea of being anywhere other than home for the occassion, but the Doctor assured them he was well aware what time of year it was - for them, anyway - and knew the perfect getaway for the couple. Evenso, it took some cajoling to get Amy to agree.

Amy was particularly wary when this "new" Doctor was "born". She was _very_ fond of his previous incarnation, and took his change in form harder than Clara did. As much as Amy was ashamed to admit it, she had trouble accepting his regeneration. She felt her Raggedy Man was dead, and this new guy akin to an impostor. Terribly insensitive, Amy knew, but surely understandable. Though they both loved the Doctor deeply, Amy always had an intense connection and loyalty to him. So when this "new guy" turned up... ?

With Clara's help, it thankfully did not take long for Amy to accept this elderly man _was_ the same man she literally waited years for, and went through therapy for in a roundabout way, but still... They seemed to always butt heads: the new Doctor certainly brought out more of the fiery Scot in the former kissogram. Especially as now _he_ was a Scot too! He and Amy regularly traded barbs, and while the love remained, even the level-headed Clara could not deny this new Doctor was a little grumpier and easier to set off than the old.

As hot-tempered as both could be though, there was no malice between Amy and the Doctor. It was literally _impossible_ for there to be any - they had all been through too much together. It was more like a game at this point, really. That being the case, Amy knew Clara was often driven to distraction by their antics.

Coming back to the present, Amy smiled wide as she decided on a different distraction for her impossibly-beautiful girl, with some decidedly different kind of antics. Clara deserved no less. She was so perfect, and Amy loved her with all her heart. They were so lucky to find eachother through space and time. All thanks to a crazy - and now old - man in a magic box.

Amy leaned closer to her fiancee's side, who was still taking in the otherworldly air. After the Doctor's departure, the couple unpacked and set up their awning, hitching it up against a horizontal rockface. They had settled for a patch of ground near a waterfall, with beautiful flowers and greenery all around them. Later they would fully unpack, organising their clothing and other supplies. They were just a few miles from a market village, but they had enough food to last until the Doctor's return.

Frankly, given their track record - and _most_ of the Doctor's previous companions' track records - it was perhaps best they kept to themselves and stayed in their own patch of perfection. Though New Venus was meant to be a virtual paradise, it would not be surprising in the least if there turned out to be _somekind_ of trouble in the village. It would not be the first time.

Besides, they had all they needed. Namely, eachother.

Clara opened her eyes and turned her head slightly at Amy's closeness. "You're very clingy, lately."

"Must be the time of the year," sighed Amy.

"Whatever year it _is_ here." Clara looked back out over the countryside. "This is supposed to be around the 2,000,001st century, but we may have to go to the village to get a calendar for an exact date."

Amy rolled her eyes. Clara's teacher-ness could be extremely arousing, but also sometimes boring. "You know what I meant, baby."

"Yes, I do," chuckled the Impossible Girl. "But maybe we should get a calendar anyway, to see if Valentine's even still exists here."

"It must do," Amy stated defensively. "Future history wouldn't be that cruel."

"'Future history' is a contradiction in terms, Amy. I think the proper term would be... "

" _Clara_." The teacher fell silent and looked at her fiancee. Amy shook her head ruefully. "Just stop talking and kiss me."

Clara smiled wide and the two pressed their lips together. The kiss deepened, and Amy felt Clara's arms wrapping around the nape of her neck. Inwardly, Amy promised never to let this woman go. They had both gone through different hells to come together, and nothing would separate them. Not now. Not ever. Eventually they slowly, reluctantly broke their kiss, and Amy let out a deep breath as she gazed into her fiancee's eyes. "C'mon, my darling," whispered Clara, and she motioned at the neaby awning. "Let's celebrate Valentine's."

Amy looked past her at the vinyl covering anchored by the rocky wall. It was hardly tiny, but it was also hardly the TARDIS, either. Still, that just meant the two young women would be even snugger. With a grin matching Clara's own, Amy kissed her again, before heaving her lover up until Clara was off the ground, her legs wrapped tightly around the Scot. Amy held her steady with a firm grip under her derriere.

They did not spend too much time under the awning. They preferred to make love in the open air, rolling around on the grass. Which they did for several hours. By the time they stopped to rest, it was getting dark on New Venus. Amy and Clara were now nestled very close, spooning under a heavy blanket. Most of their belongings were still in their luggage bags. They had not even eaten yet. They were consumed with a far different type of appetite.

Still, tomorrow would be different. Amy knew Clara would insist they take time unpacking and properly setting up their own little spot on the planet. Besides, tomorrow - Earth-time, from the point the Doctor picked them up - would be Valentine's Day, and they planned to have a lovely meal and exchange gifts. Still, there would be plenty of time for "hanky-panky" before _and_ after that. Amy would make sure.

She raised herself slightly, looking down on her exquisite lover. Neither felt sleepy, but as much as they loved sex, both women cherished moments where they were just together in their closeness. No Doctor. No police box. No evil aliens. Just them, and their bond.

As she lightly stroked Clara's arm, Amy felt a little mischevious. "So," she said, "howabout this place?"

"I've told you, Amy - it's lovely." Clara kept her eyes closed. "Now please, let's just try and get some sleep."

"It's barely dark," pouted Amy. "And I didn't mean that anyway. I meant... howabout this world for our wedding?" She felt as well as heard the groan from her fiancee.

" _Really_?" came Clara's incredulous voice. "You're still on this? Amy, we've been over this countless times. You just do it now to piss me off."

The Scot smirked. "Baby, we travel with a Time Lord in a time machine. We can go anywhere and any _when_."

"That's right, and we're still getting married in London, in our time," snapped the teacher. "Now just stop it."

A giggle escaped Amy's mouth. "Howabout Risa?"

Clara facepalmed. "The 'planet of the nymphomaniacs'? Not a chance. Eventhough it seems that I'm marrying one."

"You give as good as you get, Ms. Oswald."

At that, Clara grinned herself. "I should hope so, Ms. Pond." She craned her neck to kiss her beloved, but before she could do so, Amy had another idea.

"Tersurus, then?" she asked innocently.

Clara frowned, clearly confused for a moment. Her eyes then suddenly widened and her jaw dropped. "Oh my _God_ , Amy - that was a _joke_! The Doctor just _made that up_!"

Amy shrugged. "How are you so sure?"

"Because nowhere or when in the universe or time could such a planet exist!" Clara's mouth opened and shut, as she was obviously at a struggle for words. Amy had to bite her lip to stop from bursting into laughter. Clara turned her head away from the Scot and rested it back on the pillow. "It was just the Doctor being his usual crazy self, Amy - making shit up just to _wind_ us up. And... and even if it _was_ real, there's no way we're getting married there. There's absolutely no way we're going to _fart_ our vows to eachother!"

Amy could contain it no more, and practically exploded into hysterics. Her body shook, tears streamed down her cheeks, and she struggled to breathe. She loved Clara more than anything, but it was so much fun to get her riled up.

As Amy continued to laugh herself silly, Clara tensed and held the blanket tighter. "Stop it or you're sleeping on your own."

Amy somehow found the willpower to calm herself down - eventually. She wiped the tears from her eyes and actually hiccupped as her guffaws turned to giggles. "Aw, baby, I'm sorry," she choked. "Forgive me?" She looked down at her fiancee... only to see Clara's own mouth twisting. The schoolteacher was struggling not to laugh herself. That, more than most anything, lightened Amy's heart.

"Only if you promise to stop all this crazy talk," replied Clara. She tried to put on an air of authority befitting a scholar, but Amy could always see through it. Clara craned her head again and looked at her betrothed in the eyes, shared mirth in her own. "We're getting married in London, circa 2015, and that's final - got it?" She then gave a knowing expression. "Because if you don't, teacher will get angry."

Amy felt her heart skip a beat. Something told her it would be well into the night before they actually got any sleep. "Well... I _have_ been a naughty girl... "

TO BE CONCLUDED


	3. Chapter 3

_DISCLAIMERS/NOTES_

 _1\. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by the BBC. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun._

 _2\. This is a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this_ _._

* * *

PART 3

Clara stepped out of the bedroom and saw her fiancee sitting comfortably in the adjoining lounge. She turned her head slightly and saw the corner of the room where the TARDIS would always materialise whenever the Doctor came to whisk her and Amy off on another jolly. It had been nearly two hours now since the married-to-be's were brought back to their London home. It was time to get back into the real world.

Clara leaned against the doorway and folded her arms. Amy was busy checking her phone, no doubt seeing if any job offers came in during their time away. "Thanks for the help unpacking," the schoolteacher called out.

"Uh-huh," came the distracted reply. Far from being upset, however, Clara smiled. She loved the fact Amy was determined to get a job of her own, eventhough they could comfortably live in their small London flat on just Clara's income. She remembered the former kissogram strongly - almost angrily - telling her "I won't be a kept wife!" in that sexy-as-anything Scottish accent.

Clara was so proud of her intended: after all the hardship Amy went through, growing up with people thinking she was crazy... with Amy _herself_ thinking she could be crazy... she ended up being the strongest, most capable person Clara ever met. Even moreso than the Doctor. Perhaps the teacher was clouded by love, but so what? Amy proved her strength everyday by not just being Clara's rock, but the Doctor's, too. Clara was well aware how much his regeneration troubled Amy, _and_ how much the Doctor needed _Amy's_ support and understanding. Clara still remembered him standing before them both on that street, begging the two young women to _just see_ him.

Clara walked over to her perfect fiancee and rested her arms on the back of the sofa, looking down at Amy. "Anything?"

Amy let out a frustrated sigh. "Nothing yet," she grumbled. "It seems the Doctor picked the perfect time to take us away, as we missed fuck all."

"You'll get a job, sweetheart," Clara assured, reaching down with one hand and stroking Amy's hair. "Do you want anything? Can I make you anything?"

The Scot leaned her head back into Clara's touch and smiled despite herself. "No, I... er, I'm fine." At first Clara was concerned at Amy's words, but quickly realised what she meant. Clara tried _once again_ to make a souffle on New Venus. And the results were the same as always. Still, it was not Clara's fault: she had limited resources on an alien planet, dammit, in what was essentially a camping trip. Yes, it was what she had to work with. Not her skills as a cook. Definitely not that. Despite what Amy, the Doctor and everyone in time and space thought.

 _Besides_ that, however, their New Venusian getaway in the far, far future was wonderful. The first day was spent mostly making love - _oh_! how terrible! - and, after finishing unpacking at the start of the second day, Clara and Amy decided on a little swim in the nearby waterfall. Which, of course, led to even more lovemaking.

After a couple - OK, _several_ \- hours of that, the two women returned to their little campsite and exchanged Valentine's Day presents. They were simple, humble things, but precious nonetheless. It seemed _horrendously_ corny, but their greatest gift to eachother was truly their love. As long as they had that, nothing else much mattered.

That being the case, Amy seemed to adore the broach Clara got her, and Clara was touched by the baking tray she received. While that gift could be construed as an insensitive pisstake, Clara knew Amy was actually showing her support for the teacher's continual efforts at cooking, just as Clara always encouraged Amy in getting work.

They decided against visiting the small village on New Venus, as Sod's Law seemed to be an actual _thing_ for the Doctor's companions. Instead, they spent their time making love, interspersed with pillow talk. All in all, not a bad way to spend Valentine's.

Returning to the present, Clara noticed Amy had raised her own hand and joined it in hers, entwining their fingers. Amy then put Clara's hand to her mouth and softly kissed her engagement ring. "Sorry, baby. I'll get off my arse. Do you want a cup of tea?"

Clara smiled. "I'll make it, love." At Amy's frown, she continued. "You finish off going through your e-mails. You never know."

Amy's face melted. "I have no idea what I did to deserve you. I love you, Clara."

Clara mirrored her fiancee's earlier move, raising their joined hands and kissing Amy's own ring. "Right back at you." With that, the two somewhat-relunctantly released their mutual grip, and Clara turned to go to the kitchen. However, before she got there she remembered there were actually no teabags there: they took all their stock with them to New Venus. And while Clara indeed unpacked everything, the remaining few teabags were still waiting to be put back in the cupboard, instead still on their bed.

The teacher returned to their bedroom... and stopped at what she saw. There, dead-set in the middle of their bed was a small package. A little gift box, with ribbon and a bow tied at the top. Clara blinked. That was _not_ there before. She was sure of it. And she barely left this room three minutes ago - five at the most.

How did it get there? Amy had not left her spot on the sofa for sometime. And they were the only ones in the...

Clara walked upto the bed and spied the small box. It was rose red with a tag attached near the bow. Had Amy left this here when they first got back? How did she do that without Clara noticing? How did Clara not see it when she was alone unpacking?

Cautiously, the teacher picked the package up and inspected the tag. A heart was at each end of it, with " _Clara_ " inscribed between them in fancy handwriting.

Wow. Amy must have been even cleverer than Clara thought to get this past her. Clara untied the bow and lifted the lid off the box. She blinked again at what was within. Taking the contents out, she frowned in confusion. It was a little soft toy of a dog. How odd. Attached to the plush's collar was a frankly- _stunning_ purple gem.

Clara was beyond confused. How the hell did Amy afford _that_? If the teacher did not know better, she would say it was otherwordly in its beauty.

On a second inspection of the box, Clara noticed something else inside: a note. Holding the toy puppy in one hand, she picked the note up and read it. Her eyes widened at what it said.

 _"Happy Valentine's, poppet. See you soon. XXX."_

Clara's breath caught, and a chill went down her spine...

THE END


End file.
